God's Timing

 I knew it would be difficult for us to have a second baby, but I was convinced it would happen. I had the righteous desire to have more children, and God is capable of making that happen, So it was going to happen. One part of the equation I forgot to factor in was timing. The timing must be right, or even our righteous desires will not be fulfilled. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:

     “The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.” 

But I was still thinking that I would get pregnant eventually. I was waiting for my miracle. I could be patient until it happened. I could spend more and more money till the Lord was ready to bless me. Then I realized, I had my miracle. I had a son that came into our family. I have been having the attitude that I was entitled to having another child. Entitled  is an ugly word. It makes us think we deserve something and that the Lord has nothing to do with it. This is not the case, nor would I want it to be the case. I need a loving Heavenly Father who knows what is best. 

In a talk given by Elder Dallin H Oaks given at BYU in 2002, he stated,

     "Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives. Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan...

     If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

There is a purpose behind our trials. Whether we are blessed with another child in this life or not, the Lord is behind this. He sees what I can not see. He sees a greater purpose in this life. He knows me and what blessings I stand in need of. 

Although I some times secretly hope for a miracle, I know that I can be grateful for the blessings I have and find contentment and joy in my life.