Happy Easter

General Conference

This weekend is the LDS General Conference. I have been trying to think of ways to help D enjoy it, or at least be reverent during it. I have bought some candy for our "conference candy" idea. I've seen it a lot of places online this year. Each candy is assigned a word. Every time you hear that word, you get a piece of the candy from the appropriate jar. I haven't decided on the words quite yet, but I plan on using words like "Faith" or "Jesus Christ." The hubby suggested words like "The" and "And." This is why the mommies usually plan this stuff. :)

Also, we are making a conference poster. I am pulling out all the old Friend magazines, a poster board, scissors, and glue. We can find pictures that relate to what is being taught, cut them out, and glue them on. I think this will be something D loves. He loves art.

D is allowed to take a break from watching conference with Mommy and Dad as long as he is playing quietly in his room. All that conference can be tough for a 4 year old.

What ideas do you have to entertain little ones during conference? It is a hard task.

A Worldwide Church

We are moving this summer. We are use to the big city and we are moving to a small town, population of about 6,000. I am excited but also nervous. Yesterday we decided to drive and visit where we would be moving to. It is about 5 hours from our current home. We got up early so we could get to our new church in time. For anyone who doesn't know, we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, better known as the Mormons. The new ward started at 10 am. It is a very small ward, only about 150 people. Our current ward is over 400. Even the building is small. It is located about 40 minutes from the town we are moving to, in a different state actually. Right now we are about 10-15 minutes from our church, depending on traffic. The whole ward felt different, except it was still a comfortable place to be. That is because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a worldwide church. The gospel is the same. The same principles are being taught from the same material. Even though I have never met anyone in the new ward before, I instantly felt comfortable. There is a fellowship that exists in all wards. I feel so blessed to have the gospel in my life, to have a living prophet to lead and guide us, and for inspired programs like Relief Society.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World Video Project

One of my favorite blogs, Chocolate On My Cranium, teams up every year with another wonderfully uplifting blog, Being LDS, to celebrate The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It is a month long celebration in September. This year they are creating a video presentation that you can be a part of. Click on link above, and you will find all the information about how you can be involved.  D and I have already started to memorize one of my favorite parts of the Proclamation to the World in hopes that we can be a part of the final video. I encourage you to all do the same. 

"Seek ye out of the best books"

One of my favorite scriptures about my role as a mother and wife is found in Doctrine and Covenants 88: 119. It reads:

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God

 It is not the most profound or deep, but I have always liked that it was a blueprint for me. It contains building blocks for our family and home. Each building block helps us to create a house of God in our home, a place where the Spirit can dwell.

Of course there is another part of the blueprint we do not want to forget. It is the foundation of a strong home.

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. (Helaman 5:12)

This idea of a blueprint may be oversimplifying things, but it allows me have a measure of how we are doing as a family and how I am doing as an individual. Today I was thinking about how we are creating a house of learning.

This brings me to the idea of "yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118).  Although I feel gospel learning is the most important thing we can study and learn about, secular knowledge is also important. That is why we have been taking the time to homeschool D at a preschool age. During our schooling time today I realize something. My hubby spends his time at a job in academics, where he is always teaching, as well learning and growing himself. I plan activities and lessons that help D to learn and grow. But I wasn't doing anything to help me learn and grow. I was stagnant as far as my secular learning was concerned. I felt I should be a better example of what I believe to be an intricate part of life. I believe education is not only for schooling years. It is about growing as people, about using the gift of the ability to reason and to understand. I decided to start my education again. It starts here:

I ordered a calculus book today. I bought an older edition for $8. I used to love math and it has been years since I have used it. Maybe calculus isn't the most practical choice. Maybe I should spend my learning time on something I would use more often, but I am actually excited to relearn something I loved before. Plus, it helps when you are married to a math professor, right??? (I was actually surprised he didn't have a calculus book in his vast collection of math books. I guess it is just too simple of math.)

So, I feel really quite nerdy for being so excited, but I am. I think I will find joy in learning and stretching myself. Yea for education!

How do you keep the process of learning alive in your life?

Moments That Matter Most

A friend shared this with me. It really touched my heart. I hope you can take something from it the way I did.

ABCs of an Abundant Life

In our church magazine, the Ensign, the First Presidency Message for January was writen by President Monson. It is entitled "Living The Abundant Life." It was just what I needed to read. The whole Ensign for January was extra great, but especially the First Presidency Message. If you haven't had the time to read it, please do. It is so inspiring.

A is for attitude. “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”-William James

B is for belief—in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles. "Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities."

C is for courage. "There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember—David did win!"

We are trying to incororate these ideas into our family goals this year. This month we all set goals for a better attitude. D is also working to remember  what the ABC stand for.

"At the advent of a new year, I challenge Latter-day Saints everywhere to undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for what I call the abundant life—a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness, and blessings."

I am taking Presidents Monson's challenge to life a more abundant life this year. I would encourage other to do the same, and not only members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but all people. This is a message to the world, an invitation to become happier and more fulfilled in life. I think that is something we all need.

A Gift From God

One thing I have noticed when talking with different friends who are suffering with infertility is their sensitivity about it. I don't mean this as a jab or to judge them. It is a very sensitive topic. I can completely understand how they would feel upset or disappointed when someone asks if they are going to have children (or more children in some cases) or when someone announces a pregnancy.  I use to feel that way a little when trying to get pregnant with D. You get defensive, wondering why it is any of their business if I have more children. Or you wonder why them and not me. Why can they have so many children so easily? Why do they finally get to end their battle with infertility when I can't?  It can be heart wrenching.

Today I realized that my Heavenly Father has recently given me a great gift. I didn't realize it before, but after talking with some friends I could see it. After dealing with so much pain over not being able to have another child, the Lord has instead blessed me with understanding and love.  I don't feel upset when others ask me about the size of my family. I know they are usually just concerned for us or curious, and I can understand both emotions.  I no longer feel upset when other people are pregnant. I can honestly say I am genuinely happy for them, probably a little overly excited. :) I have found myself no longer praying that we might have another child, but rather praying for friends of mine who have been trying to conceive.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone who might read it.  I don't mean any offense.  I just wanted to express how grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who has allowed me to find peace with such a painful issue.  I still long to hold a little baby of my own when I hold a friend's baby, but that is OK. I can share in their joy completely now.  It is such a wonderful thing.

Now if I could just be blessed with the gift of enjoying hard work. Maybe then my house would be clean more often. :) I guess we all have room for improvement.

The 17 Days of Christmas

So, are you guys on Pinterest? If not, you should be. It is awesome, but that is not exactly what this blog post is about. What it is about is this great idea I found on there for Christmas. It is from Sew Dang Cute and it is called The Christ Book.

Source: sewdangcutecrafts.com via Nicole on Pinterest

It is 17 different days of scriptures, songs, and pictures about the Savior's life, starting with Christ's birth fortold and ending with Christ in out lives everyday. The other night I had some insomnia, so I spent that time putting a book together for us. I am just waiting for my pictures I ordered from LDS.org. I am so excited to start this new family tradition.

I will admit that I did add some song and remove other songs or picture. The reason being that I really wanted the picture and the scripture/story to be across from each other so that D can see the picture while we are reading, and that didn't always happen when I followed her outline. This idea would be a really easy one to change up if you wanted, but it is a great starting point. You could even make it go longer that 17 days if you added more songs or told more storied about the life of Jesus. I think 17 days will work well for us because we won't do it on Monday night because of Family Home Evening and there are always a couple of nights that D falls asleep before we get to scripture study. Plus, I don't want to do it on Christmas Eve. We already have family traditions for Christmas Eve.

I am so excited to add more Christmas traditions to our family that focus on Christ. Please share if you have any in your family. I am always looking for more.

My New Answer

I am sure all women at some time or another have been asked the "Are you having more?" question, regardless of how many kids they have. I know I have been asked some form of this question a lot. I have recently headed off the question by mentioning that Dallin will be an only child most likely. This usually end the conversation about more children unless the person feels comfortable enough to ask why. If they do ask, I don't have any problem explaining why. It is not something that upsets me or hurts me to talk about. But I think I now have a new answer.

After listening to General Conference today, my answer for "probably not" has changed. When I am asked "When you going to have more children?", I hope to reply, "We are ready to have more children when the Lord is ready to bless us with a baby." I know, if we live righteously, we will be able to have this blessing. I know it may not be in this life, but I can have the faith and patience to wait until the next.

Lioness at the Gate

Photo by Mary Robbins

A week ago we had a Relief Society meeting about organizing and prioritizing.  Although I learned some helpful ideas to get my paper under control, What I enjoyed most was when the talk given by Sister Julie B Beck at the BYU Women's conference in 2010 was discussed. (You can find the talk here) I found it inspiring. I won't discuss the whole talk, but rather just the parts we discussed  in our RS meeting.

Sister Beck talks about how as women we are like the lioness at the gate of our homes.

She guards that gate, and things matter to that family if they matter to her. For example, if the lioness at the gate believes in the law of tithing, tithing will be paid in that family. If that family has a humble little portion of ten pesos coming in, that lioness will safeguard the one peso if tithing is important to her. If that lioness at the gate knows about renewing her baptismal covenants with God, she will be in sacrament meeting on Sunday, and she will prepare her children to be there. They will be washed, cleaned, combed, and taught about that meeting and what happens there. It isn’t a casual event, but it is serious to her, and it will be serious to them. The lioness at the gate ensures that temple worship is taken care of in the family. She encourages that participation. She cares about seeking after her ancestors. If the lioness at the gate knows about and understands missions, missionaries, and the mission of the house of Israel, she will prepare future missionaries to go out from that home. It is very difficult to get a lion cub away from a lioness who doesn’t believe in missions, but if the lioness believes in a mission, she will devote her life to preparing the cub to go out and serve the Lord. That’s how important she is. Service happens if she cares about it. 

What matters to us as mothers, wives, daughters, and teachers is what we will make sure happens. It becomes our mission in life. So then, what is your mission in life? This is a deep and important question. I don't think it is something that can be answered quickly. I have this feeling I sort of understand my mission because of what I know to be true because of the gospel, but I also feel I still have more to understand that has not yet been reveled to me. This is where the importance of personal revelation plays a role. Sister Beck touches on this:

 The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important ability that can be acquired in this life. Qualifying for the Lord’s Spirit begins with a desire for that Spirit and implies a certain degree of worthiness. Keeping the commandments, repenting, and renewing covenants made at baptism lead to the blessing of always having the Lord’s Spirit with us. When we have that spirit, we can walk with God. We can know His Son and make proper choices. 

As we gain more and more personal revelation regarding what our own missions are, we are better able to prioritize our time in order to accomplish our mission. (Now you can see how the talk tied into a meeting about organization.)

Let's use a visual aid I am sure many of you have seen before. Imagine you have a jar. In that jar you need to place some large rocks, some smaller stones, and some sand. If you place the sand in first, followed by the stones, and finally the rocks, it won't all fit in the jar. But, if you first place the large rocks in, then the stones, and finally fill in the spaces with the sand you can manage to make it all fit in the jar. Just like with the jar, if we fill our time with not as important things we can never seem to fit in the important stuff. We need to first get the important stuff done and then we can easily fit in the not so important.

Sister Beck talks about how she actually took the time to write a list of the Essentials (rocks), the Necessary (small stones), and the Nice-to-Do's (sand). We did the same thing during our meeting. I will share with you what I wrote.

Essentials -The things that must be taken care of to ensure the blessings of eternal life for me and my family. 

1. Scripture study with my gospel journal
2. Prayer
3. Church and temple attendance
4. Family scripture study and prayer
5. FHE

Necessary- Things we have to do as a part if this mortal life in order to be self-reliant and be of service to our families and the Lord.

1.  Service in the Church (callings and visiting teaching)
2. Homemaking (pattern my home after the temple and create a place where the Spirit can dwell)
3. Thrift
4. Increase strength of family relationships
5. Education
6. Seek spiritual activities (Relief Society meetings, fireside, etc.)

Nice-to-Do's- These add variety to our lives, but won't save us.

1. Reading
2. Blogging
3. Travel
4. Girls Night Out
5. Outside activities (meaning outside the home. The busy fillers many of us have, be it sports, movies, book club, etc.)

This list is not a complete list. Your list might be different from mine. I am sure I will add things later as I feel inspired. It does give me a  starting point. It helps me remember to make sure I get to my rocks and then stones before filling my jar with the sand. Ever notice if you sit down to watch TV or play on the computer and time just slips away from you? I think that is what we need to be afraid of. We lose so much time on the sand we never get to the rocks. The Lord's way of doing things is always best.

to be spiritually-minded is life eternal. 2 Nephi 9:39

As I continue my happiness project, I plan on keeping this list in my gospel journal so I can be reminded of the goals in my life that will bring me the greatest joy of all.

Temple Trip

Last night my husband and I made it to the temple. It is the first time we have gone in a year. We have our excuses. The temple is an hour and a half away. We were new to the area and didn't know anyone well enough to ask them to babysit D for the 5 and 1/2 hours the trip would take. But I am thankful for a good friend who volunteered to watch D so we could finally make it out. I am so glad we went.

Waiting for the temple session to start, I felt an overwhelming love for my husband. I always love him, but it was a strong confirmation that I made the right decision in marrying him. Also, I had an overwhelming thankfulness for my family of three. I am greatly blessed.

I have been looking at my infertility all wrong. I have been looking at it as our choice to keep trying or to stop trying. It has been my choice on how much money and emotions and time to pour into conceiving. I worried I made the wrong choice to not keep trying to have a baby. I thought my choices would affect whether we would have another baby or not. I realized that this way of thinking is not exactly accurate. It is not a choice of mine. The choice as been made. The Lord has given me a trial. I can only choose how I react to this trial. I was thinking that if I searched out more and more medical help, I could change that. And that may be the case for some people, but I knew deep down it wasn't what was in store for us, at least not at this time.

Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.

Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God? (D&C 6:22-23)

 I had been looking at it like I was missing out on blessings by not being able to bear more children. I realize now that I have it all wrong.  I have been greatly blessed to have a son. Knowing how hard it has been this time around and how much is working against us, I am in awe that we easily conceived the first time after only 6 months of only medication. I feel the Lord granted me this blessing. D was our own small miracle.

"Be still, and know that I am God."

Ps. 46:10

My Happiness Project

So it has been 3 weeks since starting my happiness project.  I thought I would update anyone who may be reading this. It is going pretty well. I have been working hard to take time to not only read my scriptures, but to really study them and mark them up. I have been using "Preach My Gospel" to decide on different topics and use the scriptures they suggest. I have really enjoyed it and have learned a lot. I will admit I have missed a few nights. There are no excuses, but I am going to try and be more diligent.

I read a blog post about scripture study that I loved. It was written by The Red Headed Hostess. If you get a chance, you should really read over it. I don't think it is the type of scripture study I can just jump into, so I am slowly wading in. My husband recently showed me how to use the scriptures app on my iPad to its full potential. It allows me to make note, easily cross reference, etc. I am excited to try out Shannon's type of study a little more with it. I hope to be able to record more thoughts and feels about what I am reading.

Also, talking about recording thoughts and feelings, I have had what I call a "gospel journal" for about a year now. It is just a composition book that I write in from time to time. I write thoughts or experiences that strengthen my testimony of our Savior. There are times I will write it is a few times a month, then I won't write in it for months.  I think for the next few weeks of my Happiness Project I am going to use my gospel journal more. I know the Lord is involved with our daily life. I want to be more aware of this.

My Happiness Project Goal: My goal is two fold. First is a continuation from my last goal. I am going to keep up my scripture study, hopefully not missing any days, but I want to step it up a notch.  I am going to use my nifty scriptures app to record my thoughts and feelings about what I am reading.  My second goal is to be more aware of the hand of the Lord in my life. I plan on taking time each Sunday to write in my gospel journal.

President Henry B. Eyring talked about his experience writing in such a journal:

Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.      (Oct. General Conference, 2007, O Remember, Remember)

I'll update on my progress in a few weeks.

God's Timing

 I knew it would be difficult for us to have a second baby, but I was convinced it would happen. I had the righteous desire to have more children, and God is capable of making that happen, So it was going to happen. One part of the equation I forgot to factor in was timing. The timing must be right, or even our righteous desires will not be fulfilled. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:

     “The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.” 

But I was still thinking that I would get pregnant eventually. I was waiting for my miracle. I could be patient until it happened. I could spend more and more money till the Lord was ready to bless me. Then I realized, I had my miracle. I had a son that came into our family. I have been having the attitude that I was entitled to having another child. Entitled  is an ugly word. It makes us think we deserve something and that the Lord has nothing to do with it. This is not the case, nor would I want it to be the case. I need a loving Heavenly Father who knows what is best. 

In a talk given by Elder Dallin H Oaks given at BYU in 2002, he stated,

     "Because of things over which we have no control, we cannot plan and bring to pass everything we desire in our lives. Many important things will occur in our lives that we have not planned, and not all of them will be welcome. Even our most righteous desires may elude us or come in different ways or at different times than we have sought to plan...

     If we have faith in God and if we are committed to the fundamentals of keeping His commandments and putting Him first in our lives, we do not need to plan every single event—even every important event—and we should not feel rejected or depressed if some things—even some very important things—do not happen at the time we had planned or hoped or prayed."

There is a purpose behind our trials. Whether we are blessed with another child in this life or not, the Lord is behind this. He sees what I can not see. He sees a greater purpose in this life. He knows me and what blessings I stand in need of. 

Although I some times secretly hope for a miracle, I know that I can be grateful for the blessings I have and find contentment and joy in my life. 

My Happiness Project

"...Men are, that they might have joy." -2 Nephi 2:25

I wouldn't say I am an unhappy person. It has just felt like something has been missing. I have thought it was a baby. That is why we have been working so hard to try an get pregnant. For whatever reasons, that is not what the Lord had in store for us. This brought up some questions for me. Was the Lord denying me happiness? Had I done something wrong that was preventing me from having this happiness? Or, rather, was there great happiness to be had in what I have already been blessed with?

Don't misunderstand me. I know I have been greatly blessed, and I am very grateful for what I have been given. I have a wonderful husband and a sweet little boy.  I just felt an empty spot inside that I was trying to fill.

Once I knew were probably weren't going to have another child, something I was pretty sure of long before we decided to stop trying, I tried to fill up that spot with other things. I started running to try and get the body I have always wanted. I started to read like crazy, both to increase my knowledge and for enjoyment. I started planning craft projects and homeschooling plans for my son. I even tried and talk my husband into a big family vacation. I felt I needed a change, like something had to give. I was trying to find true happiness through happy moments.

A happy moment, or fun, is play, pleasure, gaiety, merriment, source of enjoyment, amusement, to behave playfully, playful, often a noisy activity, and teasing. Happiness is contentedness, joy, delight, and satisfaction. Elder Costa of the Seventy said, "Many people in this world do not understand the difference between fun and happiness. Many try to find happiness having fun, but the two words have different meanings."

So if what I have been trying was the pursuit of fun, what should I do to gain happiness?

"As we seek to be happy, we should remember that the only way to real 

happiness is to live the gospel. We will find peaceful, eternal happiness 

as we strive to keep the commandments, pray for strength, repent of our sins,

participate in wholesome activities, and give meaningful service."

- True to the Faith (2004), 79-80

Elder Richard G Scott, in his talk Finding Joy in Life, recommended that we each make a list of things that we can do for happiness. This made me decide to start my own happiness project.

My Happiness Project: I am going to pick something that I know can bring me true happiness. I am going to work at incorporating it into my daily life. As each thing becomes a habit, as I hope it will, I will choose something else to work on. I think I am going to try and break it up into 2 weeks periods. After 2 weeks I can evaluate how things are going and if I am ready to add more "improvements" to myself, or rather a new goal.

Scripture study is my first goal. I used to be pretty regular with my scripture reading. I have struggled more lately. But notice I am going to work on my scripture study, not scripture reading. I am not going to worry so much about getting a chapter read. I am going to worry about taking the time to study and understand what I reading, seeking for inspiration about it. As I type this post, I am actually excited to get started.